+ or -

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Instagram || @dearcaity

love is quantifiable. 
you can place a number 
on your love.
scale it 
from one to 100.
but everyone has different values;
yours is 12, 
mine is 98.
true love 
is when you find someone,
and their number is the same

xoxo darlings,

New School Drama

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

FX / Via deliriousnight.tumblr.com
With my birthday and the closing chapter of another year on the horizon, this past week has been one of major reflection on my maturity and the things that I have learned in the year.

While I'm utterly thankful for the positive situations that have given me wisdom, I have to give equal tribute to those that weren't so nice.

The biggest thing that I've learned is that drama doesn't stop in high school...or, sadly, even college. Drama never stops and oftentimes the people that cause it are the ones that you have the most hope for.

I know that there are some people who have had the utter pleasure of going through life drama free, and I applaud those people for magically keeping themselves out of it.

Unfortunately, one of the only ways to learn from drama is to be involved in it. Because of this, I wish that I knew absolutely nothing about the subject...as do probably all people who have been a part of it in any way.

Drama comes in all shapes and forms; sometimes it doesn't really affect you and other times you are thrust into the thick of it. You can cause it yourself or someone else can cause it for you. I have, admittedly, been in the middle of both of those scenarios, but as I've aged it has mostly turned into the latter.

The thing that differentiates the two is that when you create it yourself you can--with a little bit of embarrassment--come clean and fix the situation yourself. The latter, however, is the most difficult to "clean" yourself of, as someone else has tarnished your name in hopes of saving their own ass. 

What drama and its existence has taught me is that when you see the very first sign of a person who causes it, you distance yourself far, far, far away from them and wish them the best. There really isn't anything else that you can do, some people just choose that life for themselves and unless you want more drama it isn't your place to try to stop them.

My own personal goal is to keep my life as drama-free as possible in this upcoming year, and you should too.

xoxo darlings,

The Culmination of Year 21

Monday, November 3, 2014

In just six days I will celebrate the 21st anniversary of my birth, and with that rather large commemoration of life comes a time to reflect on the wisdom accrued since my last revolution around the sun.

Just before the my last womb-liberation day I entered into a relationship that would ultimately teach me more about human nature and my own self than any other experience or inter-personal relation ever would. I discovered my own strengths--and admittedly, weaknesses--and realized that I was allowing others to depict how I should view myself.

That relationship ended in a predictably sad way, with me alone and my then-partner settled happily amongst a harem of internet consorts. But hey, when you learn a good lesson you can't hate the teacher.

This year I have begun the long journey into learning what emotion is...and how to have it. For such a long time I expended my energy on feigning happiness for everyone that I forgot that sadness, anger, and "bleh" existed. So now, I focus on allowing myself to emote, to cry when I need to and stand up for myself when I need to.

My family has been increasingly more supportive of all of my decisions, and through some magical twist of fate we all actually get along now. I'm glad that I chose you guys.

The best part of this year has been the most recent. In the last few months I have somehow fallen into the most incredible group of human beings. These people have become my friends....something I haven't really had in a long time.

They merit the most amazing praise and I cannot be thankful enough for their existence.

Scott, Maury, Jared, Caroline, Kate, Nick and Chad (yes, even you, buddy): Thank you. Thank you for being a part of my life.

Six days. I have just six more days of this portion of my life. I'm ready to close this chapter and begin a new one with the beautiful people that I have chosen to share myself with.

Twenty, you've been cool, but it's time for me to move forward.

xoxo darlings,

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